I was given a message from my friends and family in spirit, not once, not twice, but many times throughout my life. It took me a while to really get it and to share this message in my book 'Return to Love' in 2006. Life provided me with many amazing experiences which really drove this message home.
I've known many people who have left this world too early, but all of them came to tell me something after they passed. No matter who it was, they all had the same message to share. So now I feel it is time to share this message more powerfully with you through my story, and the stories of people I have spoken with on my show ATP Media, in this book.
They all told me the same thing, something that would alleviate much of the suffering we go through as humans, and change the game on this planet for ever more, if humanity really knew in their hearts this is the truth; They told me... 'I Didn't Die'
I first started to think about this subject when I was a young teenager as I watched my mother suffer the humiliation of illness and tremendous pain. This lasted for about four years before she left her body at the age of fifty. Her journey with cancer, pain, her medical treatments and her death experience, ignited many questions within me about this physical life journey. How to live in a way which would have less suffering, pain and illness and how we can create more connection to Health, Love, and Joy.
This is a journey that continues today, as I experience a aging body and bump up against the many misconstrued ideas and beliefs we have been feed about age, illness, disease and death. Below is some of my story with mum, after she left this world.
Mum is trying to get a message to me.
It had been about thirty years since mum left the planet, and over the years I dreamt about her many times in my early twenties. In every dream she had the same thing to say to me, she told me in many different ways and in many different circumstances, but no matter where we were or who we were with she told me the same thing every time; she said she wasn’t dead.
The dreams would start with me discovering her in a strange place, like working in a shop in Queensland, or in a different country or at a stranger’s house. It was always a place where I did not expect her to be.
”O MY GOD you are here!” I would say to her when I saw her. “You are here. YOU ARE HERE!”
”Yes I am here”, she would answer.
”I can’t believe you are HERE! I can’t believe YOU'RE REALLY HERE!” I remember thinking over and over again. “I thought you were dead.”
”NO Karen, I am not dead”, she always said.
”If you are not dead, then where have you been all this time?” I would ask her, shocked and confused?
The initial shock, she was actually with me after not seeing her for so long, would go on for a while. Then, when I calmed down, I would ask her more questions like, What have you been doing all this time? Who have you been with? Where have you been living? I still can’t believe you are here!
The dreams were always confusing and disjointed as I tried to remember them in the morning. I was interpreting them through my own personal belief system, with my fears and misunderstanding of the eternal life experience.
Anger was the dominant feeling I would remember as I awoke in the morning. If she didn’t die and she has been alive ALL this time, why the hell didn’t she want to be with my brothers and me? I would think while I was having the dream. Why didn’t she want to be with us? Didn’t she like us anymore? You’ve abandoned me, was what I felt when she informed me she didn’t die. But as the daylight hours hit my waking mind I realised it was all just a dream and she was still dead. Phew! She didn’t really abandon me. It was all just a dream. As real as it seemed, she was still not here in this physical life.
Dreams are strange and enlightening playgrounds. Our dreams give us messages about what we are believing in our waking physical life. In our dreams we live out the thoughts that run our existence. The feelings that dominate a dream show us the type of thoughts we are living with, which attract the circumstances of our lives. If you can remember the dominant feeling you had in a dream, it will surely show you the dominant feeling you have in your life. These feelings, or emotions are the ones that are getting the most attention from the universe. The thoughts or ideas you most indulge in create the balance of the experiences you attract, and these situations reflect the feeling you had in your dream. Even when we are not open, or willing to look at our emotional set point, our dreams will clearly show this to us. If we have scary dreams, this is an indication that there is an aspect of our life we are afraid of. Happy or sad dreams show us the mind set we are living with daily. Dreams communicate what lies inside our subconscious mind. One could say it is our inner voice talking to us, or our inner-being guiding us. This is happening all the time, and sometimes our inner voice wants our full attention, which happens at night while we rest. We are being helped while we sleep, our inner being is communicating to us on every level of our consciousness. The question is, which level will get our attention? This dream platform is a wonderful place to find answers that may not be available to us in our waking existence.
The physical world around us is truly hypnotic, it has mesmerised us to the point of gaining all, or most, of our attention. We are so busy trying to control and perfect the circumstances of our lives, and seldom stop to think about perfecting the circumstances of our inner world, our mind.
A death experience reminds us we cannot control or perfect every circumstance in life. Usually it renders us helpless, in the face of a circumstance that's out of our control, and this feeling is a feeling so many of us try to avoid. We all want to feel we have everything under control, our destiny is in our hands and happiness is ours to live. When someone does something like dies, it can feed our insecurity that we are completely out of control. Here we all are trying to have a great life by avoiding horrible things, and yet horrible things seem to be unavoidable.
What if we were to view these horrible things in a way that felt better, instead of trying to avoid them? What if none of them were horrible at all? What if we looked straight at them with a renewed perspective and saw them as gifts instead of a horrible drama, because the only way to avoid them, is to leave the planet and transition back into the pure positive energy that made us.
What were my dreams telling me? Was mum showing me I had a belief that was not serving me? Was she showing me the source that was causing much of the unhappiness I felt in my life? I had felt abandoned by the one person who was supposed to love me the most. My Mother.
This belief played out in a variety of disturbing ways in my young life. My unconscious thought was; if mum didn’t stick around to love me, who else would love me? Not the truth of course, just one of the many lies I would tell myself to justify why I would push the people who wanted to love me away. The truth was, my Mother came to tell me she did not abandon me, that she did not die. She wanted me to know she was always with me and I could be with her anytime I wanted to. She was trying to communicate to me that I was loved and that I can never be abandoned, had I understood the dreams better at the time.
These types of dreams stopped when I was in my thirties. I was coming to a better understanding of how all this living and dying thing works. My thirst for answers was being quenched; I was listening to my guidance more and gaining a trust in my inner voice and myself.
I’ve had waking visits from Mum a few times since the dreams stopped; usually she came to give me a message. Sometimes I would listen and sometimes, when I was so busy with the daily drama of life, I told her I would call her back.
This day was one of these…
Read more of our other authors incredible personal experiences
of transformation through death in the upcoming book
Awakened by Death; Stories of Transformation
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